It’s a huge cliche to say that having a baby changes everything, and yet it’s so true. I now feel like there are two lives I’ve lived: my life before being a mom, and my life as a mom.
Sometimes I find myself thinking back to my pre-motherhood days and wondering why I thought I had so little time. I wonder why I didn’t savour the lazy weekend sleep-ins with my husband more, why I didn’t make more time for travelling and going out. Most of all I wonder why I stressed about the things I did, like wedding planning or my university exams. At the time it felt like everything, but it all seems so trivial now!
The funny thing is that I know I’ll think back on these days with exactly the same fondness and nostalgia. When J is fully weaned, when he no longer gets us up at the crack of dawn, when he no longer thinks his Mama is the best, I’ll miss these days so much. Isn’t it such a paradox? I guess it’s that way with everything.
That’s why mindfulness, and trying to appreciate the moment, is so important. I’m not always good at it, but I came up with a little mantra that helps: The boring days are the good days. Years from now, it’s not the big things I’ll look back on and miss, but the little, everyday moments that seem so boring at the time. And when the bad days hit–the fevers and illnesses, like J is currently recovering from–it’s the boring days that I want more than anything.
Going for a stroller walk to the grocery store to buy some bread and chat with J’s favourite cashier. Cuddling in bed watching Netflix with my husband on Friday nights after J has gone to sleep. Watching J’s little face light up as we see a dog at the park and hearing his little voice shout, “Dog! Dog! Dogdogdogdog!” The boring days are the good days–they’re the best days of all.
Do you have any mantras that you use? Leave a comment and let me know–I’d love to hear them.